Tara talks about the challenges of going back to reality after being in a program where someone else cares for you/dictates everything you do. There were difficulties in relationships sometimes her demanding too much or not pulling her own weight. Her primary relationship was with alcohol.
Alcoholism is a love affair with alcohol. Tara sought out relationships with people with similar wounds (trauma bonding) to try and heal them together. Her desire was to be in an enmeshed romantic relationship while at the same time she struggled with fear of rejection and being controlled. Alcohol became an alibi for poor behavior in relationships.
Relationships were hard to navigate in recovery because she was always looking for someone to fix her. She tried to be someone she wasn’t when she was drinking–realized that that person wasn’t really who she was. Had to relearn skills in relationships.
We talk about healthy relationships consisting of two people being individuals as opposed to being completely enmeshed and co-dependent. There is a lot of learning to regulate and express emotions in relationships as well as recognize anxious thoughts about the other person that may not be facts.
You can listen to Tara's interactive memoir via the podcast Addicted To Recovery here addictedtorecovery.ca. Or on Facebook https:// www.facebook.com/tara.nicole.boyce
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