Tamara Kirby is a licensed and internationally certified Addictions Therapist who works with people in all stages of recovery. She offers intensive coaching to those who are just getting started. Then later, deeper dives may be taken to address irrational beliefs, unresolved childhood trauma, relational and financial concerns.
In our conversation, Tamar talked about the connection between childhood trauma (which occurs on a spectrum) and addiction. We can use reparenting today to be able to allow someone else to come into our lives and be in a relationship with us.
Tamar shared about recognizing patterns (in relationships) and what is familiar vs. what is healthy. Slowing down when starting new relationships, getting to know the other person first without being physical right away. Getting curious about ourselves and about potential partners. Learning what is going on in our bodies–tuning in to our bodies and recognizing what is happening when certain things come up in relationships.
She talks about tending to herself first and not ignoring any aspects of your life. She believes the fuller and more balanced the life, the better the romantic relationships.
She also shared about the repairing of her relationship with her daughter, and how she validated her daughter’s experiences when she was drinking and taking responsibility for the things that happened during that time.
You can connect with Tamara through her website https://www.tamarakirby.com
Did you know my book Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety is available wherever you buy books? This memoir is vulnerable and raw and tells the truth about living sober, parenting, marriage and building a business.