The Money Trigger No One Talks About in Recovery: 5 Strategies to Heal Your Financial Wounds

Financial stress isn't just about dollars and cents—it's a critical component of recovery that can make or break your sobriety journey. In this powerful episode, I break down the deep connection between money and emotional healing.

Why Financial Wellness Matters in Sobriety:

• Money represents more than just currency
• Can be a profound source of anxiety
• Potential trigger for old coping mechanisms
• Reflection of self-worth
• Critical to sustainable recovery

5 Game-Changing Strategies:

1. Honest Financial Inventory Take a compassionate, judgment-free look at your current financial situation. List income sources, document expenses, review spending patterns, and identify emotional spending triggers.
   
   
2. Realistic Holiday Budgeting

• Set total spending limits
• Allocate funds for gifts, events, self-care
• Use cash envelopes
• Create separate holiday savings account
• Track spending with budgeting apps

1. Reimagine Gift-Giving

• Set clear spending limits
• Consider group exchanges
• Create meaningful, low-cost gifts
• Offer experiences over material items
• Make charitable donations

1. Emotional vs. Financial Currency Reframe your money mindset:

• "I need to buy something to be loved" → "I am worthy of love exactly as I am"
• Focus on connection, not price tags
• Invest in quality time and genuine experiences

1. Build Financial Resilience

• Develop emergency fund
• Create debt reduction plan
• Repair credit
• Seek financial counseling

Bonus: Spiritual Money Management

• Practice daily gratitude
• Recognize abundance
• Release scarcity mindset
• Be kind to yourself

Pro Tip: Your worth is NOT determined by your bank account. Recovery is a journey of continuous growth.

Want to supercharge your healing? Explore remote neurofeedback therapy for trauma recovery. Schedule a free 15-minute consultation at www.shelbyjohn.com.

Ready to transform your relationship with money and sobriety? Listen now and share with a friend who needs this message!

Transcript

Episode 3: Financial Wellness and Sobriety - Budgeting, Boundaries, and Healing Your Relationship with Money

Hey there sober ladies, thank you so much for joining me for the Confident Sober Women podcast where we are creating a movement of powerful, wisdom-seeking women who are building lives of joy, confidence, and profound personal enlightenment beyond initial recovery. I’m Shelby John and every week we have empowering conversations to help you build a life you don’t want to escape from because we all know, sobriety is only the beginning.

We have  days left in 2024 and for most of us this time of year creates some unique challenges. So I am creating shorter episodes around topics commonly discussed during the holidays to provide practical tools, tips and strategies you can literally implement after you finish listening. 

Before we dive in, do me a quick favor. If this podcast is speaking to you, make sure you're following the show. Just click that plus sign at the top of your podcast platform. And hey - know someone who might need to hear this? Share the episode. You could be the lifeline someone desperately needs right now.

There is a Deep Connection Between Financial Stress and Sobriety

Let's get real for a moment. Financial stress isn't just about dollars and cents. For many of us in recovery, money represents so much more:  It can be

A source of profound anxiety

A trigger for old coping mechanisms

A reflection of our self-worth

A complicated emotional landscape

In active addiction, many of us experienced financial chaos. Overspending, impulse purchases, using money to numb feelings, neglecting bills, or accruing debt were common survival strategies. Now in recovery, we're learning to heal not just our relationship with substances, but with money itself.

The holidays amplify every financial stress point:

Theres the Gift-giving expectations

The Family gatherings with complex dynamics

Social pressures to spend on anything and everything

End-of-year financial evaluations

And of course the Retail marketing designed to hit you right in the dopamine receptor and trigger emotional spending

I want to talk about 5 Practical Financial Recovery Strategies

1. Honest Financial Inventory

Take a compassionate, judgment-free look at your current financial situation. This is an honest review not to shame yourself but to have real data about your financial situation. 

List all income sources- your job, any other assets that generate income, your side hustle etc.

Document all expenses-write down every single dollar you spend and what you spend it on. You can track your expenses for two weeks to record every penny you spend.

Review recent spending patterns-have you been eating out more often, are you shopping frequently for clothes or home goods, getting car washes or your nails done. Any patterns. 

Identify emotional spending triggers-what are the things that make you feel like you want to or have to spend money. Is it a relationship, a job situation or some other stressor.

Pro Tip: This isn't about shame. This is about understanding and healing.

2: Creating a Realistic Holiday Budget

Set a total holiday spending limit

Allocate specific amounts for:

Gift-giving- who do you buy for every year and how much do you spend or want to spend.

Social events-how much do you spend on parties, events or activiteis

Self-care-are you a hair and nails girl, do you get monthly massage or facials

Unexpected expenses-this is the real stuff of life right. The car problem, the water heater thats leaking or unexpected medical expenses. 

Each category should have a budget.

THere are a few ways to practice practical budget setting. 

Use cash envelopes to limit spending. Put the amount you have per week or month in an envelope for each category of spending.

Create a separate bank account for holiday expenses

Use budgeting apps that track spending in real-time-we grossly over or under estimate what we spend. The only way to know for sure it to have real and exact data. 

Set up automatic transfers to savings-this is a geat way to be sure it happens without any barriers.

3: Reimagining Gift-Giving

If you love the way you give gifts thats totally fine no worries at all. But if gift giving stresses you out because of finances consider Alternative gift strategies that protect your financial and emotional wellness:

Set clear spending limits with family-this is where that budget we were talking about comes in hand will know every single person you are buying for and how much you re spending. ANd if you put it in a spreadsheet you can pull it up every year so you can remember and make adjustments. 

Consider doing group gift exchanges

Create meaningful, low-cost gifts-you can look for a cool DIY project or a homemade food gift that people will like or find low cost options. 

Offer experiences instead of material items-we love doing this with our young adult children. Find fun holiday events or trips to take them on instead of gifts. 

Perhaps you have a sought after skill you could offer as a gift like a cooking class or language lessons. 

Make charitable donations in lieu of traditional gifts or consider volunteering together with your friends or family.

4: Emotional Currency vs. Financial Currency

When we talk about emotional currency, we're exploring the profound ways money intersects with our feelings, self-worth, and sobriety journey. In recovery, we're learning that true value isn't about how much we spend, but about the emotional authenticity we bring to our relationships and ourselves.

Gifts are about connection, not price tags and your presence is more valuable than presents.

We want to Heal generational money narratives and Break cycles of emotional spending. 

Consider your personal money mindset and language and start reframing your internal dialogue:

• From: "I need to buy something to be loved"
• To: "I am worthy of love exactly as I am"
• From: "Money fixes everything"
• To: "My emotional well-being is my true wealth"
• From: "I'm not enough"
• To: "I have everything I need within me"

Instead of monetary spending, invest in:

• Quality time
• Genuine conversations
• Personal growth
• Emotional support
• Shared experiences
• Self-care practices

These investments have unlimited returns and cannot be purchased with any amount of money.

5: Building Financial Resilience

These are more Long-term strategies like 

Building up an Emergency fund development

Creating a Debt reduction plan

Repairing your Credit 

Obtaining Financial counseling 

Money often means challenging discussions with partners, family members and children.  How do you Navigate these Difficult Conversations

You want to really take some time to jot down some statements for setting financial boundaries: Here are a few examples. 

"I'm maintaining a budget this year that works for my financial health."

"I'd love to spend time together. Let's find a free or low-cost activity."

"I'm focusing on meaningful connections, not expensive gifts."

Believe it or not there is a Spiritual Side of Money Management.  It is in fact a spiritual practice: So take some time in your morning meditation and evening prayer time to 

Practice gratitude-list a few things a day that you are thankful for

Recognize abundance-there is so much around us all of the time, notice it

Release scarcity mindset-and embrace a life of abundance

Be kind to yourself. This is a tough concept and you are learning so Treat yourself with compassion

Your worth is not determined by your bank account. Your recovery is not measured in dollars. You are healing, growing, and becoming more financially conscious every single day.

There is one more powerful tool for healing and supporting your new skills and that’s remote Neurofeedback therapy for trauma. Neurofeedback therapy is an evidence based healing modality for ADHD, anxiety, depression and insomnia you can do on your own time at home.  This neurologically based form of treatment trains our brain while you watch your favorite Netflix show in 30 minute sessions 3-4 times a week. Right in your own living room. Ready to learn more visit my website www.shelbyjohn.com and schedule a Free 15 minute consult and lets see if remote neurofeedback is a good fit for you.

In the next episode we are discuss navigating loneliness and grief in sobriety, you aren’t going to want to miss this! Until then, stay strong, stay sober, and know that you are transforming your life, one moment at a time.

Remember: Small, consistent steps create massive transformation.

Thank you for listening to the Confident Sober Women podcast. If you loved this episode, please leave a review and share with a friend.