Unlock Your Creative Potential: Keys to Recovery Success w/Christine Soja

Christine Soja's recovery journey began not in a treatment center but at her kitchen table with a sketch pad and pen. As a stay-at-home mom of two young boys, she found herself drowning in an identity crisis, using alcohol as "self-care" while silently wondering, "Who am I? How did I get here?"

When Christine discovered a 100-day drawing challenge on Instagram just as she decided to quit drinking, something unexpected happened. What started as a simple commitment to draw daily for 100 consecutive days became the cornerstone of her sobriety. By establishing a creative practice with clear parameters—one notebook, one set of pens, just 10 minutes daily—Christine accidentally created a powerful recovery tool that filled the time and space previously occupied by alcohol.

The neurological impact was profound. Her daily creative practice delivered small, sustainable dopamine hits that helped rewire her brain away from substance dependence patterns. More importantly, the consistency built something she'd been missing: trust in herself. "I was shocked at the end that I actually did it," she shares, revealing how each completed drawing reinforced her ability to keep promises to herself—a fundamental skill in recovery.

Beyond the neurological benefits, Christine's creative journey connected her with a community that offered new ways to relate without alcohol. She discovered parts of herself long buried under motherhood's demands and society's expectations. "I started to see myself—proof of my own life right there on paper," she explains, capturing the existential healing that creative expression offers.

Now a SheRecovers coach and counselor at a Seattle-based recovery center, Christine facilitates women's intensive outpatient programs incorporating art for emotional and spiritual growth. Her 7-day creative challenges and 100-day sobriety programs help others discover what she learned firsthand—that creativity isn't about becoming a professional artist but about expressing yourself authentically, quieting your inner critic, and building confidence that extends far beyond art into every area of recovery.

Connect With Christine at www.alchemy-recovery.net to learn how small, consistent creative practices can become the foundation for lasting change.

Chapters

• 0:00 Meeting Christine and Her Recovery Path
• 7:15 Finding Identity Through Creativity
• 19:02 The 100-Day Project and Building Discipline
• 32:35 Vulnerability in Sharing Creative Work
• 43:08 How Creativity Builds Confidence
• 48:57 Trust, Consistency and Personal Growth

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Well, hey there, sober ladies, Thank you so much for joining me today for the Confident Sober Women podcast. I am so excited today because I just played a role in her recovery path. It's just so refreshing. I don't know. It's different than some of our typical stories, or at least the ones I'm typically exposed to.

Speaker 1: 0:36

She's also a SheRecovers coach and she's a recovering public high school teacher and she's the mother of two teenage boys. She works as a recovery coach and a counselor at the Positive Alternative, which is a Seattle-based recovery center, and while she's there, she facilitates women's intensive outpatient program and she utilizes art as a huge part of their emotional and spiritual growth. So creativity really has been at the heart of her recovery and creative expression she believes is a human right and it does come through as we're talking. And what I love about our conversation is we are kind of firing both of us on a lot of cylinders right, and our neurons are just kind of popping off all over the place. But throughout the conversation both of us I think we're making some really big connections. I mean I kind of went off a little bit on a clinical tirade for a hot second, but it was because I was starting to make these connections about the pathways that we're on when we do something like this, when we step into maybe like a challenge or a class or something. Well, when we're doing the class, it seems like we're there for this specific objective. But along the same pathway is our own personal development and growth. Now, we don't usually become aware of that necessarily at the at the conscious level, meaning we're not like walking and being like while I'm taking this baking class, I am going to be building confidence and self-esteem. That's usually not the forefront, but it's happening at the same time. And while we were talking I was really making these connections for myself, like it's not even about the thing you're doing. I mean, the thing you're doing can be really cool but at the same time you're building that confidence because you were learning to be really uncomfortable with something that's maybe hard or outside your comfort zone and then doing it anyway. So you're learning to continue through discomfort despite the fact that you're you don't like that. And that way the internal voices and the internal parts of yourself are also being kind of talked to, soothed or even like kicked out throughout that pathway. As you know, as you get further along those that part of you that was like being very critical or negative that always showed up might start to dissipate a little bit because you've been consistently doing the same thing over time and now your brain is changing and it is really, really cool. So I want you to grab that big glass of water or maybe your favorite mocktail and join me for this incredible conversation with Christine, and make sure you go to our website, follow her on socials and give her some love.

Speaker 1: 3:30

Thanks, hello and welcome to the Confident Sober Women podcast. I'm your guide, shelby John. I'm the mother of three, wife to one and sober since July 1st 2002. As sober women, we have something huge in common, and when we share our lives and our stories with each other, we feel that sense of belonging and connection. So we know we are no longer alone.

Speaker 1: 4:05

In this podcast, you will hear real life talk about building confidence and transforming your life beyond recovery. So come on, let's talk. Hey, it's me, shelby. Have you ever wondered what's really happening in your brain during recovery? Are you ready to take control of your anxiety, sleep better and finally feel focused and confident? I want to introduce you to a game changer that's transforming women's recovery remote neurofeedback therapy. I want you to think of this as a personal trainer for your brain. It's helping you build new neuropathways right from the comfort of your own home. So if you're dealing with anxiety that just won't quit, if you have ADHD that's making life chaotic, or sleep issues that leave you exhausted, neurofeedback could be your missing piece. It's science-backed brain training that works with your natural healing process, helping you regulate emotions and build lasting confidence. The best part is you don't need to add another appointment to your busy schedule. My remote neurofeedback program brings professional guidance and support right to your living room. Do you want to learn more about neurofeedback therapy? You?

Speaker 1: 5:23

can go to my website wwwshelbyjohncom to download my free guide. Is Neurofeedback Right For you? Together, we'll create the calm, confident future you that you deserve. That's wwwshelbyjohncom. Take the first step towards training your brain for lasting change. Well, hey there, christine. Thank you so much for joining me today for the Confident Sober Women podcast. I am so excited to share you with my audience and talk about all things around creativity and sobriety, so I'm going to turn the mic over to you and let you share a little bit more about your story, and then we're going to talk.

Speaker 2: 6:08

Okay, thank you, shelby. Thank you for having me. It's so great to be here and I've been looking forward to this conversation. Yeah, my name is Christine Soja and we connected through she Recovers, which has been a really big part of my recovery journey as well, and one of the one of the tenants of she Recovers is that we all create our own pathways, patchworks of recovery, which really resonates with me because that's been my experience. So I got sober, I quit drinking in 2018, but I think I have been in.

Speaker 2: 6:42

I was in recovery kind of definitely before that, um, and a big part for me of why I um, you know, kind of I could talk about what was leading up to what, my what was going on in my life at that time. But I was, um, a stay at home mom. I had two small kids, two boys, two years apart, and that is when I my substance use really kind of built up. It started to become a part of my like quote unquote self care and that was something that, in the process of you know it, kind of it works until it doesn't work Right, and it was a big part of my socializing and a big part of my identity really. But I started to feel like I had, I was lost, like, where am I, who am I anymore? Even I had this really major, a few, few major life transitions, right, putting a pause on my teaching career, becoming I had. I got married the year before I got pregnant, had two small kids. I just I was like who am I? How did I get here? Who am I? What's going on? Um, and the, the what kind of helped me to? I feel like it was even just a thread that I was able to pull on.

Speaker 2: 8:11

Um, for me, it started out with writing, um, and I came across Julia Cameron's book, um, the artist's way, just kind of by chance, how these things happen, Right, and um, I started writing daily and in that writing I kind of started to see where I was and who I was and what I was thinking about and that started to kind of build into, you know, a creative practice that I still turn to today and I teach today and I can talk more about that too. But I think that the really important thing for me was creating some space and some time, even if it was five minutes, to just. You know, the thing with the with Julia Cameron's morning pages they're called, is that you write it out by hand, right? So it's like you're using your own hands and your own writing to just connect with yourself and it kind of begins that dialogue. And coincidentally if you believe in coincidence right after I decided that I needed to step away from alcohol because it was just it was I wasn't feeling well, I was depressed, really, and knew that that was a factor, like that was something I could do is like eliminate alcohol and see how that goes. Um, and I actually wrote a series of blog posts about what was kind of leading up to that that folks can read if they want to.

Speaker 2: 9:49

But I heard about this 100 day project and it was a project on Instagram where you would pick a some type of creativity, would pick a some type of creativity, something. Whatever you wanted to do was completely open, but you would share every day what you had done. And so as soon as I heard about that, I was like, oh, I want to do that. I want to do that because I had been writing. But I really had this part of me that wanted to to be an artist, say, or a visual artist, or play with colors and play with materials, and I was kind of a collector of these things, right. I had colored pencils and I had cool markers and I had these sketchbooks and I was like gathering all this stuff, but then I didn't really know what to do with it, right? There was kind of this gap between what I wanted to do and what I knew how to do. And so the 100 day project I started an instagram account and I decided I wanted to do drawing, because drawing was an area that I felt like was really beyond me, but something that I thought was so cool when somebody can render something on a page with just a pencil, right, or a pen or something so simple.

Speaker 2: 11:14

And I learned a lot in that challenge. I found a community of other people who were on the same kind of mission, even people locally in my neighborhood, which really surprised me, and I shocked myself by actually completing 100 days and not missing a day. Wow, and I traveled during that time. I did things, so it was also really important. I think something I learned there is how important it is to set yourself up with daily, realistic, achievable goals, right. So it was like I'm going to draw a picture from a magazine. I'm going to use this one notebook. I'm going to use this set of pens. You know I can take them with me wherever I'm going. I'm going to, I'm going to spend 10 minutes on it, maybe, maybe less Right.

Speaker 2: 12:00

And then I found that often it was like the last thing I would do before I went to bed at night would be like, oh, I haven't done that thing yet, but I did it, and so I learned about myself too.

Speaker 2: 12:11

Like you know, that is something these, these small daily actions create huge change, and that that was something I could commit to, because some people love to like sign up for a marathon, marathon, say, and that'll motivate me to to get in shape, to do it. But for me, these huge things just make me want to procrastinate and procrastinate and procrastinate. It becomes this whole thing. So, um, yeah, that was, that was kind of the intro for me to how to grow a skill, um, and connect with. And when I look back now at those, I had 100 drawings right, which is is a body of work, really A whole book, yeah, and I did all I did like pictures of people, and so now when I look at those pictures too, I can, I can kind of see like parts of myself in them too, like why I was drawn to those particular images.

Speaker 1: 13:08

Yeah, oh my gosh, thank you so much, christine, for sharing your story in that way. I really like so much of my my, my, all my neurons are firing as I was listening to you Cause I could, just, I have like so much to say about all the things that you're saying, and so I really I want to try to reel it in a little bit and make sure that we stay on track. But one of the things that, first off, I want to say is you know, when you were talking about even when your drinking was ramping up, I mean, you're obviously a very busy mom. I get it. I think most probably many of the women that are in our community are moms as well, and it's a lot.

Speaker 1: 13:46

It's a busy time in a lot of ways, but there is, like this huge identity shift that happens and it's a very natural thing. Right, you're going into mom and mom is very selfless situation. It's a constant on 24 seven of giving, giving, giving and you are. And that doesn't mean that we can't do things for ourselves, or that we shouldn't, or we can't work or whatever, but there are things that we do put on the back burner when we decide to become a mom if we want to do it well, and so we can't do everything. Now, like, of course, like you can work and you, or you cannot work, or you can stay at home, or you can, but you can't, like we can't go after everything we would want, because now we have these other people to think of. And so there's this major identity shift, which I think you touched on, and I really appreciate the questions that you found yourself kind of asking, like, like, who am I now? You know, where? Where do I want to go? Like, what is my life going to look like? What is my path?

Speaker 1: 14:43

And I think that is where so many of us find ourselves, particularly after we stop drinking, and particularly, even more so in that, like after that first year of sobriety, I really feel like that is the time of, of awakening. You know, the brain is really you're not, you're as sober as you're ever going to be. You've had enough time away where your body is healed. You've started to do some things, whether it's, you know, AA or recovery work or whatever therapy, you know, you started to do some things to help yourself. And so, and then, usually around that one year mark, most of the people I talk to and then beyond, there is like this awakening of okay, well, you know, I want more, I want to do more. You know I'm looking for more, whether it's more recovery or more friends or more work, you know, it's just more personal development. So I love that for you. And then you found it in art.

Speaker 2: 15:39

Yeah, and you have your energy returns. And then you also have this major readjustment with time. Right, there's all this time that you were spending thinking about drinking or being under the influence or all the things that go up with that, and when that goes away, there's this kind of like what do I do with this? Now, you know, my evenings I'm like cogent and I can do stuff, and what do I want to do? And I felt during that time, when I was home too, because I knew I wouldn't be, I knew I would go back to work, and I also saw it as like there's this opportunity to kind of figure out what this next chapter is going to look like, um, but still also wanting to you know, to be present yeah and yeah, it's just the energy too, to have the energy to do all of it, I agree with you.

Speaker 1: 16:31

I agree with the energy and about the time. I remember back when I was like in very early recovery, in treatment even, and they we were doing some exercise. I can't remember what it was, but like it was something about losses, like what have you lost? And um, for me my story, that part of my story, was kind of boring. I mean, I had some other kind of big whatever like things, but I didn't really like, like lost a lot of stuff. So I had to kind of go, I had to really dig deep for that and the the time was what I put as the top one, like, like and I think about that a lot Like it was time lost, and it's not just, it's not just like time that you were drinking or drunk, it's the time lost where you were so dysfunctional and like constantly thinking about drinking or thinking about numbing out or thinking about getting out of your life or thinking about how bad things are. You know, just that kind of like it was all the time Right and so I just that's just a big loss. So I also really want to highlight and this is, I think, where we're going to kind of go is the fact that you found something for you.

Speaker 1: 17:31

Obviously, the the drawing was was up your alley, like you like art and that was very your outlet. But you, what you said, was so important because, um, you, you picked a thing, you, um, then you made it very accessible, you made it extremely accessible. You had one book with these pencils at this time of day and this much time, and so you, you had very specific it's like smart goals kind of like. You know like you had very specific, it's like smart goals kind of like. You know like you had very specific and kind of measurable goals for this thing for you, and they weren't huge, you weren't doing it for two hours, you know like you just, but you had like, so there was no real room for like, oh well, now I'm going to be over here doing it on this piece of paper by the, that's all yeah, or or I I gotta go find the things I gotta.

Speaker 2: 18:19

so part of it too is like leaving that out, having it. You know I'm not gonna put it away and take it out every day, right?

Speaker 1: 18:25

no, it's like part of your routine it's like part of your spot, like my morning routine is in my spot, my book is there, my pad is there. So like I already am set up for success is my point like you set yourself up for success by having all of those things in place and then it was just really kind of up to you to execute, it was up to you to show up.

Speaker 2: 18:43

Yeah, yeah, and what I've kind of learned since then. I think there were a couple things happening which I wasn't aware of. My goal was just to get better at drawing or to participate in this group kind of project, group kind of project. But what I have learned more recently too, is the role that, you know, dopamine plays in our addiction and in our seeking of of the dopamine.

Speaker 2: 19:11

And I and drawing or any really creative activity that you do with your hands, you get like a it's like a low dopamine activity, right. You get a little burst, you get that sense of satisfaction that you did the thing and while you're doing it, there's all the benefit going on too. But it's like I was kind of healing my brain from the big surges of dopamine that alcohol was producing and getting these little daily doses and also a refocus of my attention, right. So it's not just like, oh, it's the evening and I really and I want to drink and I'm thinking about how I'm not and I'm thinking. You know, it was like I got something else to think about, right, and I think I really helped my brain to to create some new pathways in that, in the repetition of that over the hundred days.

Speaker 1: 20:01

Right, you replaced it with something else and again, this is a part of that success path. You so you put, you put all these things in place to set yourself up for success. And and then the consistency of it why people I know there's research on this, I can't quote it, but like, why there's so much good stuff about habits, right and consistency is because it really does mean something, there really is power in those things and there's a discipline about it that changes our brain and makes us, changes our neuroplasticity and helps us learn and then become accustomed to and routinize right in a different way, so that, like it's sort of like I got sober and it's a similar thing, right. So in AI, like we talk about that, like doing the same things every single day over time creates a discipline and, generally speaking, people who use and abuse substances in the ways that we have are not disciplined.

Speaker 1: 21:04

You know, I thought I was cause, I was like the athlete and I was this and I could control my food and I could do this, but that's not the kind of discipline that we're referring to, like, yes, I can do that, but if you give me and if we can channel it into something that's going to end up being positive for you.

Speaker 1: 21:18

I can do that, but if you can and if we can channel it into something that's going to end up being positive for you. But like we had to, I know I had to learn how to how to be consistently disciplined in that way. Also, I think this wasn't like you were. You weren't necessarily. It's not like a parent, like you weren't following someone else's direction, like you have to do this, like this is a rule, but you did follow the plan, like someone put this plan out and you agreed to it and so then you followed the plan right. So it's like, yeah, you are, you're kind of following the rule and it takes a lot for us like to be able to say I need to be disciplined, I need to change, I need to learn how to follow directions.

Speaker 2: 22:02

And, and I'd say, directions that I created myself. I mean, there was the a hundred day like just do something for a hundred days. Um, because I know in myself too, if, if someone tells me what to do, that like triggers this rebellious part of myself who's like, uh, you can't tell me what to do, Right, so it was open enough to where it was like this, here's the framework, but I get to decide what the thing is that I want to do, and I think that piece is really important and it was something that I I legitimately wanted to increase my ability, increase my skill at doing, and I so I had a buy-in in that way too ability increased my skill at doing.

Speaker 1: 22:40

And I, so I had a buy-in in that way too right.

Speaker 2: 22:41

It was something that I really sincerely wanted, and I enjoyed the process also.

Speaker 1: 22:47

And then just just the beauty of it for you was that it did help replace your alcohol. It's filled the time slot of where you are also where you were normally drinking, and so it just helped to support your goal of drinking less or not drinking at all, by giving you something else to focus on, and especially in those moments when you probably really did want to drink. You know, um, I'm curious if you can say a little bit more about what, um, what you discovered, like if you could chunk it in periods of time you know, a hundred days is a long time, um, but like in the first 25, 50, like as you went along, I'm just curious what else you discovered about yourself, like what you started to notice emotionally, like, what did you start to notice, um, changing or did you notice anything?

Speaker 2: 23:37

um, like maybe in your thought patterns or the way you were carrying yourself, or the way you were behaving or interacting with other people, uh, that you probably didn't even know was really, maybe it wasn't even related to the 100 day thing, but because, like, but in that time period, like when you were doing that, yeah, yeah, I mean, I think a couple things come to mind, um, as I continue to do it and follow through on what I said I was gonna do, which, like I said from the beginning, I was kind of shocked at the end that I actually did it to your point on discipline, right, but I gained confidence in my ability to show up for myself, which I think really helped to to just feel my sense of of myself and like, oh, here I am Right. That was my initial kind of crisis was like where am I, who am I, where have I gone? And then I started to create these, these pieces in this work, and really set aside this time for myself, that I started to see myself like proof of my own life right here on this paper, like proof of my own life right here on this paper. Um, and then the other things that were surprising.

Speaker 2: 24:44

Um was, like I mentioned earlier, like community that popped up around this project and connecting with people just in my neighborhood, even people I didn't even know were interested in this kind of thing or wanted to do this, and so it also really helped to open up my mind to how much is out there that I don't know, right and cause you kind of can get into this groove where you're like you think you know how everything's going to play out, you think you know what your options are. You think you know and I was like whoa, it's just that whole surprise element, I think, of how much is out there and how many, and a new way to relate to people too, because I had been, you know, drinking was a big part of my social life too. Their cool projects and my project and seeing each other and even actually seeing people who I had known before but who also participated in the project, to see their work, it's like to see a different side of someone, right, and to get to know somebody in a different way. It was really, really cool.

Speaker 1: 25:54

I love that. So what you started to notice was that you felt more confident, and I'm I'm going to guess that maybe, like you could even feel that in your body, like you could show like that you were, you were standing, your posture was different, like you felt more present or available, like when you were when you were socializing, you know, and then it sounds like even you know.

Speaker 1: 26:14

Maybe you felt you didn't use this word, but it sounds to me like you felt like more interesting, like you had more to offer in a conversation, you know, or like you could be somebody that can contribute in socially which is really cool too, and I think, being kind of a shy person which I think is also why alcohol, you know, in social situations felt so necessary.

Speaker 2: 26:37

And because I was sharing this publicly, people would see things, people would see my work and they would come up to me and they'd be like oh, I love you know, I really enjoy seeing what you're going to come up with every day or this and that, and so it also allowed me to show a part of myself that I, you know that other people they wouldn't know about if I didn't put it out there. And I got, I gotta tell you, the first day that I shared my drawing publicly, like that, even though I just started an Instagram account, I didn't have any like followers. There was no, it was no, it was. I was trembling, pushing, like you know, share on that at that moment was like I've really had this feeling of I have like I'm outing myself here as like a creative person or someone who likes to make art. It felt so scary, right. And then I also got used to doing that, because every day for 100 days, I'm like I'm going to do this, I'm going to. You know, you just get used to something like that.

Speaker 2: 27:34

What was scary about it? I felt exposed in a way and vulnerable, vulnerable, because I know people can be, so I mean I can judgmental about art or what is art right which is a whole other topic that I really try to break down for people, which is a whole other topic that I really try to break down for people. This like art with a capital A as this very important thing that only important people get to do and goes in a gallery, and this really kind of out of reach thing that being an artist is to like the lowercase art, like, whatever you create, it's an outfit right, it's how you arrange your room, it's how you put food on a plate, whatever is like. That's something you did and that is your art and it's valuable.

Speaker 1: 28:33

It is valuable. And what's what's hard when we become, when we decide to become public because not everybody wants to do that and not everyone has to. It's kind of like, if you're into journaling or writing, not everybody is made to like publish a book or to post those kinds of things in a blog for the world to see. Now some people choose to do it and then we consume it and we're like, wow, I love this, this is so cool, our story is just like mine, but maybe you're not really the kind of person that wants to share in that way and that's and it's totally fine, like. But when we do decide to do that, there are people will have, people will have opinion.

Speaker 1: 29:08

Whether you hear it or not, whether they share it with you or not, they are going to have an opinion. So, and sometimes, unfortunately, because of social media and just public spaces, we are exposed to that. We see the comments, we, you know there are people that don't like it or don't like us or disagree or whatever, and so then you know, when we become public with our story or with our work of any kind, we, it is a vulnerable experience of exposure and opening up to, you know, that kind of criticism. On the flip side, it's also the opportunity and exposure for very positive feedback. So both things can be true and both things do, I think, do something for us. They're actually not both bad, even though they feel bad sometimes.

Speaker 2: 29:58

I mean, it's the practice of owning who you are. I made this. Some people might like it, Some people might not like it. It's really none of my business, Right? My business is just to do what's in my heart, you know, to create that and then you're right If you want to share it or not share it, it really doesn't matter. The point is the process of the creation and I think of following through on the on your creative impulses. I mean, I think an artist really is just somebody who who follows through on those creative impulses.

Speaker 1: 30:33

And I think we talked the last time when we were together about the creativity looks like a lot of things. You know, like cooking is creative, putting an outfit together is creative. Like you know, there's a lot of things. We I think a lot most of us when we hear the word creativity, we go right to art, right Like that capital A and or the traditional kinds of art things. But how we express ourselves creatively it can look very, very, very different and interesting. So that kind of leads me right into. What I would love to ask you too is like how are you kind of using this now in a way to serve others? Like how, how do you teach people to well, what do you teach? Do you teach them to do this, or are you trying to help them with a specific attribute, like confidence or thinking patterns? Or are you trying to help them with a specific attribute like confidence or thinking patterns, or are you, or what's your shtick on that?

Speaker 2: 31:21

Yeah, yeah, um, I do. I do a bunch of different things because, like you said to some people, the word creativity they're like that's not me, I'm not creative and and, um, I know that's not true, but, um, I do a few different things. I do teach some classes, some online classes, on art journaling and ways to use art materials for expression, and that, too, the art journaling, is something that my initial practice has kind of morphed into, and that, and that too, the art art journaling, is something that my initial practice has kind of morphed into, and that is something that you don't share with people, right? That's something that's like a ritual, a habit of just expressing yourself, to check in with yourself. So I teach people how to do that.

Speaker 2: 32:11

So I created a seven day challenge for folks who are curious about about this, you know, in any way, and it's free. So there's no, there's nothing to lose, and it's basically just using the most basic supply of paper and pencil or pen, if you want to. You know but two things. And pencil or pen, if you want to, you know but two things. And I send an email every day for a week with a with a short instruction. It's like a, you know a five minute to kind of try, and really, in this case we use the pencil and the paper to connect with ourselves.

Speaker 2: 32:51

So I share a little exercise in each day and then at the very end it's like okay, now you know. Now you've kind of got this momentum. Where would you like to take it and where's your curiosity? Because I think, ultimately, creativity is connecting with our intuition right, and that can always serve us right. My intuition was what you know, that little voice that was like is this drinking thing really helping you Right? And and taking the leap of faith to, to follow the intuition, to hear your intuition and to follow it.

Speaker 2: 33:26

And then I think also in the creative process, oftentimes straight away our critic appears right, the critic can be very accessible in a creative process, and so you also get that practice of like okay, I hear you and I'm going to do this anyway, right, I hear you saying that this is silly and stupid and I should stop, but I'm not I'm going to keep going. So I believe you know we're, we're, we're integrated beings, right? So I think whatever we work on in one area, it feeds the rest of our system so.

Speaker 2: 34:02

I think that, um, having a practice can can serve us in so many other ways and when we, when we kind of it's like priming the creative pump right, we can get that flow going. And ultimately, creativity is about problem solving too, and sobriety is about problem solving Like I have. You know, I got to, I want to live in a new way, and how am I going to do that? And and that's where that the idea of like the patchwork and the pathways right, it's like a pulling in of what am I curious about and what do I need right now and how do I follow through on that?

Speaker 1: 34:43

Yeah, I love that so much because and when we're, you know when we're working with others, you know we, when you and I as professionals are working with others, or you know, or anybody, if you're just, you know, with a friend or your kids or whatever you know. These are the kinds of things that that do come up like. You used a lot of words like getting curious. You use the word intuition, pathways, personal development, and, and I like what you, I like what I was hearing at the end there about how you're making the connection really between, between sobriety, but also just personal development and growth in general, and this creative outlet, slash program or whatever you're doing there. There is a connection, like connection there, right, cause sometimes it's very, it's very. I guess what I'm saying is it's challenging sometimes to see those, sometimes for me too, like it's challenging to see, like the, the part, the emotional parts, like the emotional development parts of a thing you might be doing outside of the program. Right, I'm taking this cooking class. It's six weeks long. I'm gonna learn how to make fondant cakes, making this up, right, like I decided I wanted to be baked, to bake more, and I'm gonna learn how to make fondant cakes, cool, cool. So, like I'm day, I'm doing this, I show right, like I decided I wanted to bake more and I'm going to learn how to make fondant cakes, cool, cool. So, like I'm doing this, I show up and you know, our logic, brains take over and most, for most of us, even though we, even if you are creative, if you're somebody who struggles with substances, you know we work in a certain kind of way. We don't like to be told what to do or to learn how to bake, but we're not. What's the unsaid part of it and what's not being talked about is is what, what? All the things that are going on and running in the background while you're taking that six week class. Like, you show up there and they say, here's the materials, and you get to do like, either maybe it's scripted, like whatever it is, you get to do what you want with this, and so so now you're like, oh gosh, you know, you, you are, you're like getting curious. And then there's like, um, you know a little bit of listening. You, you call it intuition. Um, it could be spirituality, it could be a lot like whatever that is for somebody where. How are you getting to that? How are you accessing that, that part of yourself? Um, how are you accessing that, that part of yourself to say, oh, you should make a fondant cat, cool, okay, cool.

Speaker 1: 37:06

And then, and then then the other emotional pieces along the way through the development process of, like the. You know, yes, we all have many parts inside of us, right, all that good, ifs work, and so, like that critic part shows up and it's like you can't bake cakes, what are you doing here? It's ridiculous. Like you, you can't even bake cookie. You know, why would you take this class, you know. And then, but then we have like the protector part. That's like, that's ridiculous. She can do what she wants, she's an adult, you know. And then we have that little insecure child part that's like saying, ooh, I, I just want, I, if I do it, then maybe you'll love me, you know? Um, so I guess that was like very clinical, I guess. But, um, just trying to say, like it's, we're not always thinking at the existential level like that, to see how these kinds of things are actually happening simultaneously, until someone points it out to us.

Speaker 2: 37:50

Right, right, and and it's a chance to I did my life coach training with Martha Beck and she says how we do everything is how we do. Anything is how we do everything, which is like, so you can kind of look at it at this like microcosm, right. And the thing like making the cake who cares really, ultimately, if we make a cake? Or like the stakes are low, right, who cares if I scribble on this paper? It doesn't matter, but it's, it's. We get to observe ourselves in this low stakes process and and, just like you said, those parts pop up and we get to, to, to work through them, um, and then also there's just that we have an opportunity, kind of to access a flow too, really Right, and to to tune in, to just to be present.

Speaker 2: 38:44

I think creative acts require presence, and so there's the practice of that, there's the practice of like all this is going on, all these parts are are doing their things. And here I am, continuing on putting my pencil on the paper, you know, making the fondant cat. I'm here, I, this is me, right, this is kind of my, my true self, who is, is doing this amidst. It's the practice of doing this amidst all of the other things that are going on Right.

Speaker 1: 39:17

Exactly and what you said is so true. Like any of these things that we're doing, unless you are, like, on a contract with some giant agent or something that's paying you millions of dollars to create the fondant cat cake, it doesn't really matter. Now it matters because it matters to me, but, like, only in that I want to do a good job or I want people to like it. I think this is so valuable. What just was popping up for me while I was listening to you is the is the piece around confidence, because you know, our like our show is called confidence over women, and like that's a big part of, I think, the work we do when we start building emotional sobriety, and oftentimes people will say or sometimes I even think you know this many like, what does that even mean? Like, what do we mean confidence? Or like, how do we build confidence? You know, like I'm not a mental health therapist too, like I don't even know. I don't. I'm like I do know, but like sometimes I find it hard to like put that into words or put my finger on it, and but then I'm reminded of something like this, which is this very exact thing what, how we do it is by can like.

Speaker 1: 40:24

What you said earlier was is you just do it anyway, you know so we, we show up in the thing, whether it's you're starting a health journey or you want to start getting fit at the gym, or you're trying to be creative with art or with food or with essential oils or whatever you like. We just keep doing it like in. So where the like, where where you start to see the shift, is that is really that neuropathway changing. If you want to get into the neuroscience, it's the neuropathway changing of something done consistently over time, every single day. We don't deviate over time like a long time is. Is then those, those parts that show up are still there. You're still doing it anyway. I mean, in the beginning it's ugly, right?

Speaker 1: 41:03

You're like oh man, like I don't like this, like like just like hitting the share, like I don't want to do it. And then, but then, like the next time, you know, you're like, okay, well, well, it wasn't really that bad actually last time, and even if it was, you can, you can kind of work through it. You're like, oh, okay, I can do it, um. And then, but it's just doing that over and over and over again. It just changes you. It changes you these tiny micro bits, like you start to feel like you know, like I'm okay, like I'm, I'm okay, yeah, and, and it's, and, and I'm, I'm.

Speaker 2: 41:36

The reason I'm doing this is because I want to. Yeah, no, um, I think so. On the thinking about confidence, right, and um, building that it comes from experience, right, and and when we do, when we follow through on these things, that it's, it's following through on something that we want to do. It might not make sense to other people, other people might think it's stupid or a waste of time, but there's something in me. I'm like I'm doing this for me, and so I think that's where the the confidence grows, in that I got my back, I'm going to you know, I have a million other responsibilities, but I'm also going to make time for me because I am valuable and it's worth it, and, and I want to, and that's enough. That's enough of a reason why.

Speaker 1: 42:24

Exactly, and that's why I mean this might be weeks, months, years, decades for some people. Right, this process is and I think we're always doing when we are, once we're set on the path, we're always going to be doing it from now on, like we are always going to be the kind of people, once we learn, that are going to be on that pathway of confidence and to kind of personal development or change. But the process really is lengthy. This is not something that's going to be overnight or even weeks, months, sometimes many, many, many months or years, and exactly that.

Speaker 1: 42:58

It's just that, continuously doing over and over, until you find yourself like, well, I am doing this, and almost to the point where I like it, or you've learned to talk to those other parts and say, no, thank you, critic, I actually don't need you here anymore. Like there are parts of us that do need the critic for a while, right, because that's what we're used to. Like if we were growing up in a very critical environment or we were used to always having to, you know, kind of defend ourselves or we weren't listening to her, like that critic is what we know, so it's comfortable for a while, and then until we learn like oh, actually I don't really need you. I'm good, like I got this, and like your more confident part shows up and like now you're in charge.

Speaker 2: 43:44

Yeah, it might be trying to protect you right From embarrassment or to protect you from criticism or something, but I am learning that I can handle that.

Speaker 1: 43:54

Exactly, exactly, and that's that window of tolerance just widening up right. It's like all of a sudden, now, over those weeks, months, years, you're learning like, yeah, even though I'm feeling anxious about this conversation with my partner, I know I can handle it.

Speaker 1: 44:11

Even though I'm feeling frustrated by this work situation, I know how to take care of myself, and so that's the gift and the blessing that comes on the other side when we find practices in our life that are done consistently over time, that lead us to begin to trust ourselves.

Speaker 1: 44:30

Trust is a big part of this too, and I don't know, we didn't use that word yet but our brain does learn to trust ourselves when we do what we say we're going to do. So that's why that a hundred day activity or anything like that is also really good, because when you consistently do show up because you said you were your brain eventually, after whatever 21 days or whatever the new rules are, um, we'll say, oh, actually, christine does do what she says she's going to do. Like she is going to get up earlier at five, 30 to go to the gym because she always does what she says Right, whereas before, if you're a snooze button hitter for for your whole life, every time you go to do that, they're like, yeah, she's not going to do that, she's not going to do that, she didn't do what she says she's going to do. So it's part of building trust. Um, through these kinds of activities repetitively done. That then lead to that confidence, because then you're like well, I'm okay, like I know my brain knows I always do what.

Speaker 1: 45:22

I say and then also when these things come up, when the comment shows up and it's like your work sucks and you're like you know what you get to feel that way, like you get to Like everyone's allowed to have their feelings and instead of taking it on and sort of putting it on and being like you're right you know, you're totally right, I should have, I've never done that Like I'm, I'm a terrible artist instead of putting it on, you can just like let it be there. You can like let them have that feeling Right and be like yeah, right, right.

Speaker 2: 45:58

And that's why it's it's so important to set yourself up for success with a tiny, teeny, tiny baby step, and that's what I said too. I was shocked at the end of the first hundred days that I did it. I didn't know, but I had to kind of trust. And then it also starts to build its own momentum. For some part of you like is like aren't we going to do that thing? Aren't we going to do it? Like the part and I think that's a young part that's like that's fun, I want to do that. Are we gonna do it? Are we gonna do it?

Speaker 1: 46:17

well, it also, yeah, it starts to create that, that part, and then also just it creates a predictability. That's why, like, people talk about the morning routine being so important, because then your brain begins to know like it's predictable. Like every morning I get up and I sit in this chair and we read this book and I have my coffee and it's very nice, and my dogs are there, like, and then, even though your day might be crap and you have the worst stuff going on ever, like you're you go to bed and knowing like, okay, okay, tomorrow I could do that thing again. And it's such a small thing. These are small. It's not hours of spa treatments and those are nice too but these tiny things can do the job.

Speaker 2: 46:50

Yeah, and in that way too, you're not putting it off into the future, like when I have more time, when I have this or that, when this thing is done, then I'll get to that. It's like we got to figure out a way to start it today. Yeah, and that's why the I mean three minutes of something right.

Speaker 1: 47:08

Well, I know, and I think for again, I think it's a characteristic of people who struggle with substances is just like it has to be done immediately, it has to be done in this specific way and if it's not you, it's your failure, or why bother you know, we? I think that's the style that a lot of us have, that personality, and it's mine's always like it's gotta be bigger, better, bolder, faster, you know, instead of being like pump the brakes. Actually, three minutes of meditation is great if you do it every single day, yeah that's enough.

Speaker 1: 47:36

Yeah, so um, where you mentioned your challenge, so I want everybody to be able to go find that. Where do you like people to reach out to you if they want to get ahold of you?

Speaker 2: 47:44

Yeah, so I have a website. My business is called alchemy recovery and alchemy dash recoverynet is my website, um, and they can find the challenge there. And also I've written some blogs and some work about my coaching programs, and so now I actually do 100 day sobriety challenge, which I started last year, which is really fun, and we have a small group coaching and then a daily email from me with a little bite-sized sobriety support. I love it and that's been really fun too. So I'll probably do that like at four times a year. We're about a quarter of the way through our winter challenge, but we'll be doing another one in the spring Awesome.

Speaker 1: 48:30

I'll make sure I link to those in the show notes below so everybody can find you. I thank you so much for your time, christine. This has been very, very powerful. I below so everybody can find you. I thank you so much for your time, christine. This has been very, very powerful. I love the connections we were making. I mean, and sometimes we don't even know that's what's going to happen, and I just and it's very organic and one of the reasons why I love having these conversations, because there's just so much for each one of us to take away from it and I know my audience is going to love it. So thank you again, so much.

Speaker 2: 48:50

Thank you, it's been a pleasure Appreciate it.

Speaker 1: 49:01

Thank you for joining me for this week's episode of Confident Sober Women. If you enjoyed this conversation, hit the subscribe button above so you won't miss any upcoming episodes. And, hey, if you really loved it, leave me a review. You can learn more about the Sober Freedom Inner Circle membership at wwwshelbyjohncoachingcom. Forward slash inner circle. See you next time.